Dear Girls at the Gym's Locker Room,

A note to all the girls who don't seem to grasp what a locker room is for.

The gym locker room is a place for people to store their belongings and change to get ready for their workout, NOT your bathroom at home or a public runway for your "lingerie" show.

I don't need to see some of you bend your acne covered butt right in my face, with an untamed muff. Be conscious that some of us do not want to see that shit. So please, have the courtesy to wrap a towel around you to slip/change into your pants, simply find a closed off changing room or bend over in the opposite direction. If you do not find time to do this, then at least slap some Proactiv on your ass problem and, for the love of god, shave. After all, it's a locker room, not a place for you to make your feminist values be seen in all their hair-tacular glory.

You would assume coming out of the shower, you would have a towel wrapped around you to cover yourself up. That would be smart, right?

Some girls don't seem to do this, as some of you strut yourselves in whatever tightest bra and (sometimes see-through) panties and use the locker room as your personal runway. It is not a runway, it is a LOCKER room.

Put your damn panties and bra on AFTER drying yourself INSIDE the shower and keep that towel around you when coming out (unless you're Megan Fox). Not all of us want a show or to see how much cellulite you have growing around your thighs and ass. That is your own personal business that should be kept under wraps.

Armpits: Please shave them. And I'm not talking about a 4-day old growth, I'm talking about those who grow armpit bush. Unless you use your pits as Brillo pads to wash your dishes, it is not necessary to grow that much hair.

For those of you who spend endless periods chatting away over your cellphones (and I don't mean a 5 minute chat on organizing your get-together...), remember this one, tiny, simple rule: It's a mobile phone, meaning you can walk AWAY with it and talk on it as much as you want. None of us want to hear you give away your life story or scream at your boyfriend because of the results of his STD tests. It isn't a counseling office or a coffee shop, it's a locker room. Take it outside.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my eyes O_O!