Dearest Roomie, thank you ever so much for putting up pictures comparing me to a pig in our dorm hallways to "motivate me to lose weight." Your thoughtfulness inspired me to tell your boyfriend about all of the drunken hook ups you had while he was out working night shifts so you could two live together next year. I only did it to motivate you to be a better girlfriend and not a drunk whore. Oh, and it looks like your boyfriend doesn't mind bigger girls, seeing as we had sex in your bed for a week before he dumped your ass. Can't wait to room with you again next term!
Amanda H, Carleton U
Muhahahahahahaha
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