Die NBC

NBC made the ridiculous decision to shelve Community mid-season for Whitney Cummings (are you fucking kidding me?).

THE ANUS FLAG WILL PROUDLY RISE AGAIN!

Thought of the Week? Month?

Read.

Top 10 Places YOU Can't GO in the World

A list of 10 super secret places YOU can never go to.

SpOoky O_o! Click on the below link to the full descriptions and photos.

1. RAF Menwith Hill

2. Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center

3. Ise Grand Shrine

4. Room 39

5. Area 51

6. White’s Gentlemen’s Club

7. Moscow Metro-2

8. Club 33

9. Vatican Secret Archives

10.Mezhgorye

Article

Jesse James - The New Tiger Woods

It seems that Tiger Woods' whore disease has hit and infected Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James,  and is slowly morphing him into an unfaithful man-whore (who for some reason, over-collects nazi memorabilia...........)

But yes, Hollywood seems we have another unfaithful jerk pushing his way into every (overly tatooed) stripper/whore/cyborg he can stick his penis into.

What is with this tendency of having multiple affairs? I mean so far, we thought he had it with one person, now his list is reaching up to 5 hoes. And it might go on...

And what is with this ridiculous tendency for Oscar-winning actresses to have scandals rise a week after their win? Is this from some sort of inferiority complex from their husbands not being able to handle their immense success or just a tiny penis thing?

Probably the penis thing. Either way, Scum!

If you're going to marry, you're signing your life and balls away to one person. Deal, or don't marry.

Weekend Blahhhh: Chocolate and Candles

Working like a mother****** this week (and then next). This may very well be a weekend for some shopping therapy (best weekends ever).
We'll see if my wallet agrees though.

I did get a head start with some cheap shopping :D
Target: The dollar store.

You would really be surprised what you can find at the dollar store (Canadian dollar store > American 99 cent store... fo srs).

Found these little room candles, set of 3 for $1..... I'm more and more pleased what I end up finding at those stores. Don't be fooled by the close-up though, they're only 2" tall :3.

Also thought I would try out wall stickers. I found a huge sheet with 6 birds and 2 birdcages. I skipped the cages since they're a tad overkill.

I have quite the shopping list for home decorating... Anyone wanna give me a ride to ikea >.>?

█ ♥ █ YAY CANADA'S MEN'S HOCKEY TEAM █ ♥ █

So to all the Americans who got very cocky after our first loss against them last week, all I have to say is: 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, WE ARE WINNARSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Hockey really is the only thing any Canadian truly cares about at winter Olympics.

We are the proud gold winners of both Men and Women's hockey team at these 2010 Winter Olympics.

Apparently Canada is also the world record breaker for the most gold wins in winter Olympic history. Badass.

Congratumalations to all other winning countries and of course, the USA for bringing home the most medals in total. Enjoy that silver medal from hockey ;D.

See you in Sochi, Russia in 2014 :3

Canada's Women's Hockey Team Celebrates!

This is epicness in all its glory. 

After their victory against Team USA last night, the Canadian champs decided to celebrate their victory over the ice by getting CRUNKKKKKK (with cigars, champagne and beer).

Now the Olympics' executive director is getting his panties in twist, because of how this might be deemed innapropriate behavior for others to see, blah blahh blahhhh.

Pardon my french, but go fuck yourself.

They won, they deserve to celebrate however they want on home ice. Don't turn this into another media butt-hurt event like you guys did with Michael Phelps.

 GO CANADIAAAAAAA

Pictures by

National Post

YAY CANADA'S WOMEN'S HOCKEY TEAM

To all my Canadian bitches who won the Olympic gold medal for hockey: YOU ROCK!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOO

Hey Men's team, no pressure -_-

<3

█ ♥ █

Tales from College Girls

 Dearest Roomie, thank you ever so much for putting up pictures comparing me to a pig in our dorm hallways to "motivate me to lose weight." Your thoughtfulness inspired me to tell your boyfriend about all of the drunken hook ups you had while he was out working night shifts so you could two live together next year. I only did it to motivate you to be a better girlfriend and not a drunk whore. Oh, and it looks like your boyfriend doesn't mind bigger girls, seeing as we had sex in your bed for a week before he dumped your ass. Can't wait to room with you again next term!

Amanda H, Carleton U

Muhahahahahahaha

Love it

 Brought to you by

Collegehumor.com

Tiger Woods in 10 Hoods

Vagina hoods.

So everyone was pretty shocked when Tiger Woods' extra-marital affair came to light, but now the count went up to 10 different hoebags (including a stripper).

Is pro-golfing really that much of a turn on? Or something that even attracts groupies? HOW DOES THAT WORK?!

There has been a lot of discussion surrounding Tiger Woods' wife bribed with money to stay in the loveless and possibly, STD stricken marriage as his trophy wife by basically offering her ...what around $20-$50-$80 million? Well no news of her accepting any of it, yet..... But she has officially moved out of Tiger's home.

Any wagers on how many more skanks come forward?

Image by

The Superficial

Cucumbers - Not Just a Poor Woman's Sex Toy

Ever see a woman at the grocery store spend TOO much time carefully inspecting zucchinis and cucumbers?

Yup, because she's hungry....................clearly.

Asides from that, here are some interesting trips & tricks on cucumbers' beauty and non-beauty related uses:

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a slice of cucumber along the mirror the mirror will be clear and the residue provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of
  pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of
cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the photochemical in the cucumber cause the
  collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite.  Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and
  headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost,
 keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge?

  Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European during hunting to stave off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the
  squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling
    pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam,
   creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your
    mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the photochemical will kill the bacteria in your
    mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the
    surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but it won't leave streaks and
   won't harm your fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works
    great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Went to NY - Back from NY - Broke - New Moon spoof

So yes, I decided to do my first American Thanksgiving and attempt at battling my way through desperate soccer moms and tech nerds on Black Friday.

Asides from the delicious food and awesome-tacular Apple pies (2) that Andy's mom made me, Black Friday involved me splurging $100 at Sephora on regular priced items, a 2-for-1 deal on tops at Metropark and a cute vanilla bean hand soap from Bath & Body Works >.> (GO ME WOO HAND SOAP YEEAAHH!&!^!11!)

All this to show that I'm probably the only person who buys regularly priced shit on a Black Friday event and comes home 15 pounds heavier BEFORE Christmas.

I really need rethink my strategy next year >.>

In the mean time, enjoy this New Moon spoof. Full of Rofls.

Story of the Month - Gay Flight Attendant

May be old, but first time read for me:

"My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

OH SNAPPPPP